Gratitude

June 11th marked the 7th anniversary of my Mom's death. It's amazing how quickly those years have flown by. I was going to post on that day to commemorate it somehow. But I felt like maybe it would come off as attention seeking. So, I just thought about her that day...and it was sweet.

But as the days have passed and I've had more time to reflect over these past seven years, I have been reminded again of all the good that God has brought about in what seemed like the worst thing for our family at the time.

So, this is a post to draw the attention to Him...to the God of All Comfort and My Faithful Father.

1. Lord, I want to thank You that on that day seven years ago, when I felt like I couldn't go on, that you reminded me that You were enough. No matter what.
2. My Jesus, I want to thank You for the family of God that You surrounded us with during those days and the months to follow. You loved us through them. You wiped our tears and spoke words of truth to us through each one that reminded us of Your faithfulness.
3. Two months after Mommy died, You blessed our family with a new life that didn't know our grief...Josh. His innocence was a comfort to each one of us when we held him. You have reminded us with each little baby that has joined our family that life continues...life is a blessing from You...You are the Giver of Life.
4. Six months after she left us, Jarod joined our family...someone Mommy loved and hoped to someday call her son. You blessed us with a brother that has brought so much love, joy, and depth to our family. Thank you.
5. One of the things I am so thankful for that happened after Mommy died was that we began family nights. We started them out of a need to fill Daddy's nights with people. But Lord, You knew how these nights would knit our family together in a way we didn't even imagine. Thank you for all the joy and memories our family nights have brought.
6. In the days, months and years after Mommy went to be with You, You have taught me that it's not weakness to cry...I still am learning. You have taught me that it's not always better to do everything in my own strength but to ask for help and lean on others when they want to help.
7. I am reminded daily of Mommy when I look into my girls' faces. You knew that it would bring so much laughter and sweetness to each of us who can "see" her in them. Thank You for the sweet gift.
8. You have taught me to let go of the lives of those I love and trust them to You. You continue to teach me this lesson over and over. You have to teach me every time someone new comes in my life to love. To love them and hold them loosely at the same time. So often I would rather not love...so I don't have to care when they are gone. But You have taught me that life is so much richer when it is full of love...even when that means there will be pain. Thank You for the lessons...and the patience when I forget.
9. You have made me realize the gift of family. A family that remembers things about Mommy that nobody else will. People that loved her knowing all her good and bad. People I can laugh and cry with when we remember her and miss her. People that I love more than I did before that day. For each Aunt that has become a little more like a mom to me now that she's gone.
10. As the years passed, I worried about if and who Daddy would marry. You gently taught all of us kids that You are trustworthy and that you loved him more than we did. You brought us to our knees where we cried out to you with tears to bring Your best in his life.
11. A year ago you brought Rika into our lives. What can I say but Thank You again. She has brought so much back to Daddy. He has someone to care for again. He has someone to walk with him again. He has someone to love again. You brought someone who would bring back our Japanese heritage to our family. You gave my kids someone to love them with such affection.
12. Thank You for the healing You have brought to Daddy's heart over these seven years. Thank You that we can reminisce about Mommy and not be overwhelmed with grief anymore. We can share laughter with Daddy about the memories of Mommy. He reminds us of wisdom she shared with him.
13. And I will never be able to thank You enough for deep relationship You have blessed between me and Daddy since that day seven years ago. I didn't really know him. I loved him but I didn't know how good our relationship could be. Throughout these seven years I have finally gotten to know my Daddy. I have heard him share what You have taught Him. I have heard him share his struggles. Every time we say "I love you" and hug I am overwhelmed with gratitude. Father, You KNEW that until Mommy was gone, I would never know Daddy. Out of the pain and grief of losing her, You gave me the sweetest gift.

Lord, You have been faithful every step of the way. I know You will be faithful in the days to come. I wanted to publicly thank You for all the good you brought from ashes! May You get the attention today!!!

Love,

Bek