Today I went to the chiropractor. I haven't been there in 10 years. My chiropractor has an amazing memory when it comes to people. He was asking me about the details of my accident in November. When I told him all of my sisters and my daughter were also in the car, his eyes filled with tears and he said, "I'm sorry, but when I think of the circumstances surrounding your mothers' death, it makes me emotional thinking of what this could have meant." Then he proceeded to talk about what a emotional time it was for him when my Mom was killed in her car accident. I was amazed at how moved he was. He apologized for his tears and I assured him it was fine.

But as I thought about this later, I thought about how I so often "apologize" to God for my tears. I often have this false idea that He wants me to suck it up and be tough. I imagine that when he sees me crying because of losing someone, He shakes his head and says, "Rebekah, they are with me, you shouldn't be crying." But this week I was listening to the Bible on CD. It was the story of when John the Baptist was killed by Herod. After the terrible details that surrounded John's execution these verses followed, "And John's disciples came and took up the body and buried it. Then they went and told Jesus. And when Jesus heard it, He withdrew from there privately in a boat to a solitary place..." (Matthew 14:12-13 amplified Bible). I was struck with emotion as these verses seem to so clearly convey the pain Jesus felt when he heard the news of his cousin's death. Our dear Savior, who knew exactly the joys John was now experiencing needed to withdraw himself to a solitary place. He didn't turn to John's disciples and give them a speech about how they shouldn't be sad because John was in a better place. I am touched that He went to the only One He could confide in and find comfort in.

I was also moved by the fact that He didn't allow His sorrow to hinder His pouring out of love to others. Instead, His compassion was so great for these people's seemingly small need - hunger ,in comparison to what he was feeling. He was dealing with the loss of one of the only people on earth that truly seemed to understand that He was the Savior of the world.

I am so thankful for Jesus' humility to give us this example of a need to weep and go to the Father for comfort. I am thankful that He understands grief. I rest in the knowledge that He weeps with me...I praise the Holy Spirit for praying for me when all I can do is groan in agony. When I don't know how to pray for others going through deep pain, He faithfully intercedes. I am thankful that I have a Master who gave me the example of weeping for others even when He knew the end was for good. And then to turn that grief into a channel of compassion for others.

Thank You, Jesus.