I read this on the Living Proof Ministries blog this morning and thought it was worth sharing. I just thought he gave a wise look at an often frustrating area in marriages. What do you think?
"How can I help my husband grow in his relationship with God and step up as the spiritual leader?
This is difficult to answer since each question was asked by a specific woman with a specific husband who has a specific personality and history. How you encourage your husband will depend a lot on your relationship history. I told Amanda last night that if for some reason I spiritually relaxed to the point of deadness that she should confront me quickly and harshly. Loudly. With weapons. Why? Because that’s who I am. That’s who I told her I was when we met and were married. If you have seen your husband have a passion for Christ, but is now colder than a penguin with a popsicle, confront him. Don’t worry about offending him. He needs to be offended.
However, if your husband has never shown the kind of faith you are praying for, be gentle. First Peter 3:1-3 says “Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives.” Peter was specifically writing to women with unbelieving husbands, but I think the principle applies to this situation. You will never win him over with an argument, and deep faith is not the result of well-reasoned rhetoric. Continue to pray, be respectful, and be faithful.
With those things said, here are a couple of things to remember:1) Show him that being a Christian is something you “do,” not just something “you are.” In our current church culture it is very easy to believe the main point of Christianity is to (a) be in church, and (b) behave. Help him see there is action to be a part of. Find a mission trip where he can build stuff. Is there a widow in your church who needs a handy man for a few projects? A fatherless boy in the youth ministry who could use a fishing trip? Men aren’t drawn to deep faith because they feel like being “men” is something you have to do outside of church and not inside. Show him differently.2) Make sure that your vision of a spiritual leader is not too narrow. He may never look like your pastor or Bible study leader. He’s probably not wired the same way. Don’t confuse helping him be everything God wants him to be with helping him be everything you want him to be. Be encouraged. God is at work in your husband. It may just progress a little slower than you would like."
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1 comments:
That was such a good perspective. Even if we have husbands that take the Spiritual initiative, it reminds me to encourage him to remain the leader and that I am there to make it as easy as possible for him to be a Spiritual man.
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