It's Been 6 Years

I hesitate to write about my Mom again. I sometimes worry that people think I do it to get attention or to make people feel sad. Actually, I would prefer that it would do neither of those things...which is why I have hesitated to acknowledge what today is for me. But, I don't feel right to just pass the day by without acknowledging my Mom.

6 Years ago on this day, my Mom went Home to Jesus. I wrote a detailed account of that day last year. If you feel like reading it, here it is.

I just wanted to write about some of the things I like remembering about my Mom.

1. My Mom was a person that I never once saw rattled. She was so calm and never seemed to be afraid of anything. I know she did have fears, but she didn't fret and stew about things. I remember once having a conversation with her where she talked about not understanding why everybody always talked about being "stressed". She absolutely could not figure out why everybody always seemed to be a basket case. At that time, I was pretty much not stressed about things either and agreed with her. Since having kids, I've become more prone to stressing out when my kids are sick, etc. I really, wish I was more like my Mom in this area.

2. My Mom was a person who loved people and often I would see her in church talking to people who were sitting alone. She didn't care about anybody's social status or what they could do for her. She sincerely loved others and wanted to know who they were and to help them in any way she could. I am very shy (which comes from an over emphasis on worrying about what others think of me...bad quality I know), and she would always tell me, "just love others and you won't worry about how they respond to you. Just show them love and interest in their lives. Everybody wants to talk about themselves, so just ask them about their life. People will know you love them when you are interested in them." This is another area I wish I was more like her.

3. My Mom was not afraid to show her emotions. She may not have shown emotions of fear, but my Mom didn't seem a bit embaressed to bawl in front of others when she was touched by a song, or by God's amazing love, or when she was overcome with conviction. I was always the one getting embaressed for her. I would just want her to stop crying and not be so vulnerable before others. But I think it showed her deep sensitivity to the Lord. My sisters and I have said, one of our most vivid memories of our mom is her sitting on the couch wiping her tears when we would be singing one of her favorite hymns. I think she got this from her Dad. Grandpa used to cry easily too. Obviously, by my statements, you know I"m not like this...but I do wish I was more vulnerable around people.

4. My Mom had several "foot in mouth" moments. What I means is that she was pretty quick to say what she thought or make a bold statement. One of the funniest moments I remember with this is when we were sitting in a restaurant with our family and some friends. A lady came up to the table that my Mom and Dad had met through some homeschool connections. I knew my Mom always had such high respect for this lady and thought she was so gracious. The woman came up and said, "Hello, Hisato and Kathie." My Mom stood up and said, "well hello!" While my dad, who didn't remember this lady acted very much like he had no clue who she was. My mom said, "Oh, Honey! You know who this is!! Why this is....uh....this is....uh..." She looked down and her face turned bright red as she had completely forgotten the lady's name. The lady graciously said, "I'm Bev." They chatted a few moments and when they left, our friends, Dave and Max gave my mom a hard time for her blunder. That memory always makes me laugh.

5. My Mom held a very high standard for her family. There were times when this got slightly annoying. I remember one time when my sisters, a couple of our friends and I spent a few hours making a home movie. We were in high school and when we were done making it, we had her watch it. She thought it was funny but promptly went upstairs and wrote heidi, tami and i a lengthy letter (like 4 pages!). The letter talked about her dissapointment that we would use our time so frivolously and that we should be redeeming our time when we were with our friends. We should have been doing things that would have benefited others, etc. We sisters were so bugged...but the next couple times we got together with Kenz and Nat, we wrote cards to widows in our church. My mom later laughed that she had gone somewhat overboard, but it was good for us in the end that she did hold a high standard. We always knew we should be striving for a more excellent way.

Well, there are tons more memores. But if anyone's still reading, I'm sure you're wishing I'd stop. So, I'll save it for next year I guess.

Mommy, I still miss you like crazy. Sometimes the ache is so deep I can hardly breathe. But I am comforted knowing you are happy where you are. And I will never be able to thank God enough that He gave me you for as long as He did. He knew I needed a Mom like you.

I love you,

Bekah